Agent of Influence

Agent of Influence

He had been here for - well, he had lost count.  The sway of the boat in the sky made him queasy but that had been calm for awhile now: “Hello!” he sighed as the red thing bleeped on his wrist.  Quickly, he scurried under a tarpaulin and slipped into a lifeboat, once he was alone he pressed the square green button: “McCrimmon, are you reading me?”

“Aye, loud and clear, Doctor,” Jamie whispered.

“Good,” this Doctor’s voice was younger than Jamie’s own Doctor.  “I have finally managed to assemble my team.  You are still the Store Keeper, are you not?”

“Aye,” Jamie said, “this captain fella is starting to get cantankerous!”

“I know, do not worry!”

“Who have you sent?”

“A fellow Time Lord,” The Doctor hesitated and decided to let Jamie be the judge, that was his task, “and three companions.”

“Wha’ are their names?”

“Leela, a Warrior of the Sevateem!” The Doctor sighed the next name was going to break him, “Nyssa, a bio chemical engineer - kind, compassionate and too lovely for the Universe to contain, and Ace.  She likes to blow things up.  These three can fight and have good skills to protect each other from the machination of the Time Pirate!”

“Al righ’!” Jamie sighed, “personally I would no’ le’ any lassie near that brigand,” he felt the Doctor smile, “a jessie of a villain!”

“Keep calm, Jamie!”

“Why are ye bringin’ innocent lassies near him?”

“Only one is innocent, Jamie.  I need you now to rise up the ranks!”

“Oh aye, but to what?”

“I need you to become the Time Pirates personal attendee!”

“As a butler type?”

“Yes,” the Doctor sighed, “like a Butler.”

“It’s a bi’ namby-pamby!”

“Butlers gain the trust of the ones they cater for,” The Doctor explained, “also, you are to choose out of the three whom you think could keep the Time Pirate to plunder and steal from another planet!”

“Aye, well how do I ge’ to be this butler then?”

“Be extra vigilant, sometimes if you hear of a mutiny and quell it that gets your way into his hearts!”

“Aye, well, I best ge’ on wi’ it, then!”

Amazing he had not been rumbled but the Doctor knew best, the Doctor always knew best, there was one name that he liked more than others.  This Doctor sounded like he cared for her!

“Crew Mate McMillian!”

“McClannan!”

“McCrimmon!” Jamie mumbled.

“Nowhere about is he?”

“Aye but under this wee sheet!” he muttered.  The voices over head grew and most of them began to dissent against the Captain.

“All here?” the  first voice said.  Jamie smirked, he recognised that voice.  It belonged to the First Mate.  It seems these Mutiny’s always started with the First Mate.  “Good! Now, our good and honourable captain has tasted his last dish, drunk his last, and definitely wenched his last!”

A series of dirty laughter echoed around above Jamie’s head: “We’re sicks to the backteef!” a crochety voice exclaimed.

“You aren’t got no backteef Ferrel!” a younger cheekier voice yelled back.

“Well, if I as!” Ferrel said, “I’d be sicks to the back of em!”

“I says we runs ‘im frew the ‘eart!”

“One turn each!”

“YARS!”

“What of his latest lass?” another said lasciviously.  

“She’s mine!” the First Mate hissed.  “She’s me spoils!”

Jamie wondered how he was going to get the Time Pirate to listen to him, now he knew.  If he was really as charming as the Doctor claimed he would be in situations like this Jamie knew this was going to go the way of the Doctor, like everything went the way of the Doctor!

“What of the ship?”

“You scruffy knaves can has the ship!” the First Mate growled, “when the wench and I are on land we stays there!”

“Land lubber!”

“True and proud on it!” the First Mate said back.  “So, meet me back ‘ere after he has properly wenched his last!”

Jamie waited until he heard the footsteps die down and cautiously slid out from under the tarpaulin landing on his side and slowly he got up and back to work awaiting the perfect opportunity.  The First Mate saw him about to tick off stores of wine when he looked at it: “Better re-do your sums, his Pirateness wants a case brought up to him!”

“Aye, sir!”

“I’m too busy to get it to him so you have to!”

“Aye, sir!”

The First Mate rolled his eyes and walked out of the stores.  Jamie lifted the case of wine and hefted it to his shoulder and held it with one arm up the side and the other over his head so he could walk up the steps of the boat.  The deck held less than half the crew, so either not all were part of this mutiny or some were told to make things look as normal as possible, whichever was the case Jamie ignored them as they did him and he made his way to the top deck.  Gold lights sparked the way and Jamie could hear the sounds of a girl laughing and the Pirate with her.  Gulping down his last fears, for he had not had private audience with the Time Pirate, Jamie was not sure if this Time Lord was even aware of Jamie’s presence on the boat.  Tentatively he knocked on the door.

“What be that, that knocks on me door!” the accent was Irish.

“Tis I, Jamie McCrimmon.  A casement of wine and some news be awaitin’ you!”

“I know of no one called by that moniker, but yer may as well enlighten me especially as you as the wine!”

With a certain caution the Scots youth entered the Private Quarters of the Time Pirate: Jamie saw more gleaming of various bits of metal the man wore than of the man himself.  Even in the candlelight Jamie could tell little bits of how he appeared.  To make it even harder for Jamie to know what he truly looked like The Time Pirate stuck to as much of the shadows of the Cabin as he could.  What little Jamie could deduce was from outlines and the flesh of his hands which were covered in rings of various metals and jewels, some not even from earth.  The candlelight was enough to show that the Time Lord was tall.  The skin on his fingers showed him to be of pale complexion.  The strands that hung down to the waist that showed in the candlelight revealed that he had a luscious load of raven black hair set in little threaded twists and plaits.  Stark wide eyes, it was too dark to determine the colour; but the gleam showed them to be big in diameter and almond shaped.  The muscular frame did little to allay the fears.  Shadowed outlines made out a luxurious beard and moustache cut almost seemingly into a heart that framed his upper lip and chin.  In front of him Jamie felt the need to bow! Jamie McCrimmon bowed to no one!

“It’s like this,” Jamie stuttered putting the wine down, “I have heard the First Mate and some of the crew organising a Mutiny against you!”

The Time Pirate tilted his head to one side and sat down on a golden gilded chair plush with red velvet. Languidly he circled his right hand in the air whilst leaning his head on his left hand.  One leg crossed over the other: “The First Mate asks only for the Lady!” Jamie nodded to the blonde, buxom lady in the room with them, “he says the crew can fight for the ship!”

The Time Pirate rolled his head and now leaned his cheek on the right hand whilst beating a tattoo on the arm of the chair with his elegant fingers: “Is that all?”

“That is all!”

The Time Pirate gazed at the wench before him.  “Thank you, Jamie, you have done well!”

The woman curtsied at Jamie’s departure once he was gone the Pirate smiled at the Wench: “Well,” he said, “we seem to have a slight problem on our hands!”

“I much prefer it wiv you, me lord!” the wench said.

The Time Pirate sighed and started picking his fingernails, the rings glittered in the candlelight: “I am bored,” he sighed.  “Time to pick a new crew I think!”

“What are ya…!”

Suddenly, the crew and the girl found themselves on a sun drenched white sandy beach: “I ‘ad me a strange dream jus now!” Ferrel said.

“Jus think it was the sun!” the First Mate replied as he gazed at the woman by his side, “come on!”

“What of the girl?”

“OI, WIFE, WAKEY UP!” The First Mate yelled.  The woman woke up.  She knew it had to be a dream.  The nameless man in her dream did not ever speak to her like that.

Jamie walked back in the room to tidy up: “Where has everybody gone?”

“Australia 1780,” the Time Pirate sighed, “or America’s 1660!”

“You don’t know?”

“I do not give much thought no!” the Time Pirate sighed, “I kept you.  I like the look of you, Jamie McCrimmon.”

Without the crew the Irish was more pronounced.  Jamie could understand why the Doctor told him to be careful.  Oh, Jamie needed back up if he was to be alone with him!

“Well, I am glad of tha’!”

“Highlander, yes?”

“Aye!”

“Maybe I will crew my ship with your people.”

“Sure, aye.  Wha’s wrong wi’ yours?”

“My people?” the Time Pirate scoffed, “every single one of them would be mutineering against the other!”

“Some clans can be like tha’!”

“I am sure they can,” the Pirate sighed staring out a window, “there were one or two I liked,” the Pirate looked at Jamie, “one died, a long - long - long time ago,” Jamie furrowed his brow, the Doctor did not fill him on this much, “the other is still alive and goes by the name of Omega - but Omega was banished.  He now lives an existence of non-existence in his own reality!”

“Are ye no’ tempted to go back home?”

“I have dropped in from time to time,” the Pirate sighed, “the last time I met two insolent youths.  I wish I knew what happened to them!”

“Sure they’re fine!” Jamie sighed.

“You seem like an experienced man of the world,” the Pirate smiled as a Raven flew from a perch to his shoulder, “I think I shall just pick bits of crew from here and there but you can pick my next wench!”

“Sure you’re a better judge of a pretty face than I!”

“Oh, I trust your judgement, Jamie!” the Pirate smiled, his eyes glowed a little in the candlelight and his smile curved right to the top of his cheekbones it seemed, “After all,” he sighed holding the steady gaze, “you are my Matey and I am your Pirate Captain and I need you!”

“You. Need. Me!”

“I am the Pirate Captain and you, Jamie, are my Matey!”

“I Am Your Matey!”

The smile had lessened as did the glow: the Raven cawed and shook his head: “CAW CAW!” he screeched fluffing his wings up.

“Now, Jamie,” the Pirate smile was now cruel, “prove yer me Matey and walk me plank!”

Stiffly, Jamie walked out of the room and down the steps towards the Plank.  The Pirate Captain twisted his rings and watched from his windows and continued to watch as Jamie stepped up onto the plank.

“Caw, caw, caw!” the Raven fluffed its feathers more, seemingly surprised that the youth was walking along the piece of wood, “caw, caw, caw!”

Jamie was at the end of the plank, staring blankly ahead about to swing his foot one step forward - the step that would make him fall into nothingness: “Caw, caw, caw!” the Raven continued as Jamie’s leg swung over into the black void.  “CAW. CAW. CAW. CAW,” Jamie’s other foot edged ever closer, “C-C-C-C-C-CAW, CAW! CAW! CAW … !”

The Time Pirate’s smile spread ever wider as he continued fiddling with his bejewelled fingers…